Thursday, July 26

IT wAs raiNing outSide and I wAs cryinG insidE ???????????


It was raining outside and I was crying inside…………. my heart is getting wet……..and my tears are dancing with rain drops…..my exams will start from the next day of the incident……..first paper of last semester…..and I felt like …..I got the result before I write the exam………….

See the corner of your cubical…..I will take you to the flashback……….

One cloudy evening when sun is trying to sleep and moon wants to come out of the bed with the army of stars……
At last I went to one of the place which is very near to my college……oh……it is full of silence……people are like status…..even you can hear if some one drops match stick …..That is my college library….Oh Library…..this is the place where people come for studies……..i don’t know how people will study without noise of music…

I went to library with an unknown text book with an known feelings……….

Our library has 6 floors…..in that one floor is very big and that is meant for group discussion…..and this place is better than other places….

As usually my eyes were searching her(her!!!!...ya….my friend…..my good friend…my really good friend….more than a good friend)……at last I found her as usual sitting alone with a load of books and a bunch of sweet floating smiles…. …. And placed my self in the same room very near to her and acted like I didn’t see her…

As expected …I heard a voice (at last she called me)…’Junks……’ then suddenly with a surprise I looked at her(they call me as ‘junks’…)…and said ’Oh you are here…what a coincidence….”
She : ‘ No coincidence nothing….I told you yesterday right….….i will be coming to the library today evening’
Me : ‘Ha …ya … ya……mmmm..ok’
She : ‘why are you sitting there…come here….even I am getting bored by sitting alone’
Me : ‘No…I need to concentrate on my studies…..(acted like as if I came to library for studies not for her…but I was not aware of her next reply)
She : ‘Ok….as you wish’
Me : (oh……………noooooooo) ‘Its Ok… I will come…no use of concentrating on the subject which I don’t know’
(she smiled on my as usual behavior………..as I am shameless idiot and as we were very good friends for long time……I shifted myself to her place)
She : ‘how is your preparation going on’
Me : ‘Super….i already covered the topic which can get the passing marks…..now I am reading this book to get distinction….(as if………)
(suddenly she started to laugh like anything)
Me : ’What happened’
She : ‘If you read this book you don’t get distinction….you will irritate others….’
(oh….shit…..i carried a psychic book called ‘I am psycho and you are psycho’ instead of text book …anyway my intention is to express my feelings to her….so in hurry I got the wrong book…what to do now…well my old stratergy… I always laugh loudly when I get nervous…..)
Me : ha … ha … ha..(laughing without any reason …….because i was almost caught)
She : don’t laugh…..i have a note book….. read this…
(for few minutes … I thought of trying to read that book….but I never had an habit of reading anything…not even newspaper)
Me : (after few minutes) Hi….well…how are you?….
She : You asking this question for 5th time…..what happened to you…you know that I am fine……..my family is fine……
Me : ha ha ha(nervous laugh)…ya its true….
She : you will never change……..(with smile)………
Me : but I am thinking of ……..
She : what you are thinking of…..?????????
Me : (nerous)…Thinking of becoming a doctor.
She : No……..how can you become a doctor …you are a final year BE student…
Me : oh…that’s true…..(I don’t know what the scrap I am talking)
She : what is true….
Me : no…no..it is false….
She : what is true and what is false?????.....what happened to you……..
Me : don’t know…..by the by you are looking beautiful…
She : (smiled)….have you stopped smoking….
Me : ya..i din’t smoke from last 20 minutes
She : (with smile) That’s why you are talking like this…. go and have a cigaratee….then you will be normal….
Me : no chance…someone told me that smoking is injurious to….(she stopped my words…)
She : ……wait….smoking is injurious to others not for you…
(still I am not able to express my feelings…..I am nervous …I don’t know what to say…but decided strongly to express my feelings)
Me : please….don’t get angry
She : why should I….
Me : can I tell something……
She : (without any curiosity …she replied )….ya tell…
Me : I love you…………….(she the way I expressed my feelings)
(I am dam nervous……….i covered my face to avoid slaps…..i closed my eyes to take care of my eye brow …I am scared…..I don’t want to see her……I thought I am gone case……….)
(silent everywhere……yes…..silence is covered the space…….still my eyes are closed……….i don’t know what is going to happen in my life)
(suddenly some one’s hand is pinching my ears…..oh…no…that is she….and loud laugh……my expectation is varying like dying mosquito’s heart….when I opened my eyes…she was laughing like anything……..still laughing…she is not able to control…..and I don’t know her reply………at last after laughing for 10 minutes she replied……..)
She : (laughing loudly)‘you na…AT LEAST BE SERIOUS FOR SOMETIME!!!’
(she thought that I was joking………..but she don’t know the weight of my heavy heart…weight of my sentence……..weight of my feelings……..even today when I meet her she will remember that and she will laugh……..’Behind every laugh there is a hidden tearS’

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