ScaRY….ScaRY…Go ArounD!!!

There is a ghost down in the hallow hall …There is a insect beneath the bed Now it’s coming through the walls…..It was dark everywhere…silent su*king somewhere…peace might not be like the peace supposed to be …suddenly someone from the corner shouted ‘scary….scary…go around’…… …..I opened my closed damaged eyes ……suddenly I heard a distracting noise… …. …sensational tears are moving towards the rational ground with a slow motivated sensation…..impure blood is coming from my ears….ants are trying to float on my blood…..I lost the control on my legs…..I can move only my hands…..just within very less span of time again I heard the cracking noise of my broken bones…..someone is crying anger and hungry at a very far distance …suddenly again someone shouted ‘scary…I am your peace…I am your death….scary…..!!! I am truth…I am lying lie….scarry!!!’…suddenly everything stopped…...the ceiling fan is looking at the ground and trying to reach my brain by sliding on my head……walls of my room are floating like waves of poisonous sea and they aimed on me……windows are coming near to me and hitting the wall….water was leaking from the broken tap of the kitchen and trying to block themselves….refrigerator is suddenly started their operation…………..my body started to melt because of the temperature of the floor…..my hairs are started to burn because of leakage in power supply…..blood wants to settle at the corner of the room as if they are not belongs to me………….suddenly silent everywhere………..????????????????????????????..Someone is shouting ‘search scary…search scary…go around’ and again ‘scary…scary…..you die….go around….die…..you need to die’ and suddenly bird with broken wings trying to eat my head and started to fly around my half boiled body…..!!!! …………..again I heard ‘get up…get up…..!!! You are born to die….or you are dead to born……’ ……………………………silent everywhere………!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

CuT iT !!! WaiT.......

It was 15th August 2007 and as every one knows it was a great day for all Indians…. Well … I celebrated by playing a Basketball after 8 years…. Ok….I will come to the point…sorry this time I don’t ask you to see the corner of the cubical because I lost the cubical, I lost the designation, I lost too many things…now I am inside a circle where you can’t find a corner….

It was a great chilled evening and people are really happy about the freedom that they have taken as granted. This is the only one great festival where people celebrate without knowing the meaning of this. Well …..It was snacks time and I thought of having haircut (the only place where you sit silently by giving your precious life to the stranger and he will play with knife and also with some really scary things) …

It was almost 5.45 and I am almost near the saloon…..The owner of the hair saloon (age approximately 50) was smoking half burnt ITC manufactured cigarette and as I am one of the regular customer I passed a ‘Hi’ to him!!!!!

.I entered the shop as if I am going to act in KAMAL’S next movie (that should be decent one)but when I entered inside I found a restless razor, a smiling comb, a dancing hair cutter, horrible creams….etc etc

Suddenly …..
Unknown employee of the shop: Sir, you can take that 1st chair.
Me : Oh….Great thank you (I sat in that chair as I am the King of Bangalore)

While I was staring at my face (with the help of mirror) suddenly someone entered into the saloon like a unexpected pop-up…(oh…he is the owner)
Owner came to me and started all sort of primary support for my hair cut and at last started to cut my hair like a garden plants…

Oh no…..!!! his fingers has that bad smell of smoke but its ok as my blood also has enough amount of nicotine….slowly my nose started to adjust for that smell…

Actually we have only strange customer relationship…..I mean to asy that I know him but still I don’t know him…….. but I did a mistake by asking one small question which made me to think for hours.

Me : Sir, how are you?
Owner : I am not yet dead….some how living with theses idiots (here ‘these’ means his employees)…
Me : any plans ???? (I asked as if I am asking when he is going to die ?????)
Owner : Yes……..Thinking of my daughter marriage, thinking of underconstructing house, thinking of these idiots(again pointing towards his employees) and…..
Me: (Somehow I stopped him in between)… Please don’t cut too much of hair…
Owner : (but that didn’t stop him) I have 3 ‘hair saloons’ and a private financing….but I don’t have a responsible and trust-worthy person to look into it ……may be I can take help of my son-in-law after the marriage of my daughter….mmmmm….. so that I can take rest for my rest of life


(So one thing is clear that he has only one daughter…no son…mmmmmm)

Me : Good idea……but no need to take so much of tension …sir….
Owner : We have to take….what to do…our KARMA!!!.see that guy(pointing towards one of his employee)…yesterday night he drunk like hell and slept at footpath and morning he came so late and he didn’t bother to inform me also and ….as today is a holiday there were too many customers during early morning . Because of him I missed many customers….

Suddenly two guys came with all junky style….(see their intention..) they washed their face and customized their hairs and left the place with a dirty look (strange…really strange) as if they are the owner of that shop (this happens in all the places)

Me : mmmmmmmmmm……(with a crocodile smile…..pointing towards the owner). We both are in the same boat sir, our work is also similar to your work.
Owner : how ?
Me : see I am a so called software engineer and as you trim the hair same way we will trim our standard products. If we find any bug then we will shave it as per the customer needs as you do….. Sometime we will solve the problem by giving a consultation like your oil massage. Like your employees, we also drink weekends and same way our manager will scold as you did just now.
Owner : Is it?
Me : Yes (whose father what goes)!!! If you do the mistake then blood will come but if we do the mistake then torture will flow in our cubical…. So it is almost same!!!

Suddenly one of the employee of that saloon (the one who drunk yesterday….the victim) of that shop went outside …as owner was angry with that employee, his eyes slowly start to chase him but his hands are making noise on my head (strange…this is called experience always matters…YOU will DO too many useless things at a SAME TIME …. Same thing happen in our software industry, if my boss don’t like ME then he always spare one eye to me…

Owner : hay!!!! come here…..(calling his VICTIM…his employee)..see there are some glasses…wash it !!! (like our boss will ask us to do some documentation even though that is not required)
Me : Sir……Sir….(I started shout to grab his attention)
Owner : What happened ….
Me : Anything may happen… can you massage My head with ‘NAVARTHNA” oil???…
Owner : Yes …why not????

This is perfect revenge…..he called the victim(his employee) and asks him to do oil massage for him…..But I was aware that he will show all his all anger on my head .well can say that he is the right person and he has a perfect situation to do that because ANGER HANDS CAN MAKE MELTED HEAD COOL. And I know that The saloon owner will really enjoy this fun. This is what happens in corporate world also.

Tears are started to come out my eyes not because any TRUE LOVE, this is because his sincere effort for massaging.

Everything is over and while he was cleaning my face by using tissue paper, the victim (the employee) told his owner that he is leaving his job.

Owner got angry and he told the employee that he will not give even a single paisa for this month work. The victim left the shop and I am still shocked. But really I got shocked when he took the next process.

Owner called a guy who was sweeping (the last grade employee of the shop) and promoted him and also asked him to take in charge of VICTIM position (cut the hair) from tomorrow. Last few word of the Owner

Owner: Look dear, from tomorrow you are going to try with the new customers and initially for couple of days start with shaving and then go for hair cut. I will increase your salary by 5%.

Oh…no…..what a management!!!!! At last I came out of the hair saloon and I got surprised when I saw the VICTIM (the employee who was resigned) inside the other saloon which is located opposite to his old employer hair saloon. Oh so fast…..??????

DOG STARED AT ME BUT SHE DIN'T *************

It was a dim Tuesday……as usual I was running to catch the shuttle with a fear of missing it…..but by mistake I reached 5 minutes early….

Standing at the footpath I was waiting for my office cab with a wet ear, dry mouth, half closed eyes, fearing nose and a broken heart……..I was shocked because of my early pesence to catch the cab ……I started to observe this artificial world..…some people are trying to come out of the dream ….some people are running to catch the BMTC bus….some people are running to reduce the weight…some people are looking at the dirty wall posters …….. And only few cute street dogs are staring at me as if something wrong is going to happen with me within few seconds…… ………..

Suddenly one vehicle came like a burnt rocket……. Initially I thought that was our cab and I took few steps ...….but at the end I came to know that that was not my cab …yes it was not my cab but unfortunately my eyes are made me to look at the cab again because of some unknown dry feelings and suddenly I saw someone's wife ….'Yes…she is someone's wife….but why I am looking at her????……what is wrong with me???...???'

See the corner of your cubical……….I will take you to the flashback………..(4.5years back)

Once upon a time (before her marriage) there were two good human beings inthis planet....one is male and another one is female (the one inside the cab) …she was aggressive but she was really funny…he (me) was like a species from some broken planet …..

She was my classmate…and I was her classmate….also my good friend …

During my college days she was the only one person who use to call me as monkey(what a pet name)… we are from the same college …. we studied together…we passed out together…we searched job together and one fine day she got married to someone….. :)

Ok…now come to reality…..(flash back is over)

Yes…Yes…..……I am not wrong …she is the one…she was my classmate….I was so happy that I am seeing her after long time and I expected same reply from her also …as we were really good friends…..I thought of waving her and I raised my hand with all my old memories …if there is any meaning for 'Good friends' then that is only because of us…our friendship was so pure and clean without any misunderstanding….even I can remember the time when she use to hit my head by using long notebook….and well she got angry when i din't make if for her marriage …..mm….at that time my life was moving in a single track and today my life is started to move in a 3 seperate single tracks(which is very dangerous)…………….

My tall hands are waving at her to say that 'hay, look at me….I am still alive….I am your old friend…..'…..and I was really happy …. And slowly my eyes are filled with tears without my knowledge (people say na…happy tears…that was making space inside my eyes)…….. all these things happened within 2 and a half minute… ….at the end she noticed me but she acted like a stranger is waving at her (I don't know she acted or she is not able to identify???) and I was shocked when she looked back her seat …as if I am waving to someone sitting behind her ….she was looking at me with a unknown face………… … wheels of that cab are started to make move….. at the end she came to conclusion that I am not mentally stable….……and a big laugh ceme from her cab…..'Why she pretended to reply me??? why???? ….'..everything becomes question for me …a floating unknown question suddenly helped my known tears which initially named as happy tears are converted into sad tears and came out of my eyes without scaring to the outside weather……… …..cab started to move fast….my tears are started to move with the wind…..people are laughing at me…..her face was disappearing …..I felt bad only for one reason that "she failed to identify the person whose weight is also not changed from last 8years"………..????????????

60 minutes !!!?????

Story of two people who are at the verge of death…and they have just 60min…

See the corner of your cubical….I will take you to the future cum flash back….

Me and my friend came out of annual health check up(first time !!!) that was sponsored by our respective companies and after the check up….irritated doctor told us that we have only 60 minutes of life (after seeing so many bugs in our body during debugging)…..

Me : dude……
My friend : ya….macha tell me….
Me : Dude…..doctor scolded me da….that to this time da…
My friend : Why?
Me : doctor told me that my lungs is full of customer specific tobacco and he can’t do anything to save my life….
My friend. : Then….????
Me : Then I gave him 10rupees and asked him to repair it in debugging mode and he got angry da….and scolded me that we ‘development specialists’ sorry ‘software engineers’ don’t have brain..
My friend : Ok leave it ….. anyway we are dying na…
Me : ya hoo….my biggest dream is coming true….At last we are dying…dude....super na….we can meet ‘Urvashi’…’Meneka’…’Rambe’…
My friend : Kya be …you want ‘Rambe’….idiot….. be serious atleast when you are dying…
Me : sorry dude…..but tell me one thing…are you going to miss anything by dying early?
My firend : I don’t know da….but definitely I will miss Dhoom-3.
Me : Ya…even I will miss ‘Code Olympics 2007’…..
My friend : oh no…we have only58 minutes…..what to do..?
Me : The best thing that we can do is…..killing someone….why don’t we think of our respective boss…?
My friend : no…no chance….it will take 2 hours to reach their house…we will die in traffic..
Me : No..No….we should not die in traffic….we did so much to this country…people…we should die in a such a place ….(suddenly idea came ….
)….yes….dude…anyway we are dying…why don’t we respect the cause of our death….
My friend : super…run….

(Cause of their death are smoking and drinking…)
Me and my friends start to run to find a bar……may be this is our last run….we were running as if we are going to get Olympics medal….
At last we got one bar called “Die and let others die”

Me : dude…. what a super name da???


Without wasting any time they entered the bar and ordered bucket of drinks to kick of their bucket and also basket of cigarette to burn their a**…
Cheersssssssss………they started …..

Me : doode….(‘dude’ will become ‘doode’…once I start to drink)
My friend : machiiii…..(‘macha’ will become ‘machi’…once my firend start to drink)
Me : why we are dying……
My friend : we have only one life da…that’s why we are dying….machiiii
Me : (crying) doode…if we don’t die for another 55minutes then who is going to pay the bill…..
My friend : No da…I am confident…..we are going to die within few minutes….
Me : doode…..don’t get angry…..can I talk about….(my friend stopped me)
My friend : Idiot….don’t tell….only because of your stories, I started to drink…now again if you talk about that bull shit flashback then I will kill you before you die
Me : Sorry doode…..…My heart pulse rate is becoming slow….i think I will die before you die…
My friend : super da….then I can drink peacefully at least for few minutes….ha ha ha..
Me : ha ha ha ha ha…….see da...we are dying but still laughing...I think this is what life....
My friend : pleazzzzzzzz…don’t start again……
Suddenly my friend got a phone call from a unknown number……
My friend : Machiiiii…..see god is giving missed call da….. he is calling us….
Me : doode…..so only you are going to die….i din’t get any call….
My friend : Idiot …. You din’t pay the phone bill…..thats why u din’t get a call…
We already drunk too much……..yes too much………we are drinking as if we have never seen drinks before…..everyone is looking at us….my friend is continuously getting a call from a unknown number…..according to us we have only 29 minutes to die
Me : doode….we have very less time …..Now tell me what is your final wish..?
My friend : I want to see my grandchildrens….its impossible within few minutes…machiiiiii…what is your wish da?
Me : I want to become intelligent human being…so that (suddenly tears start to flow like municipality broken tap)..which is impossible even if I get another 70 years…..
My friend : That’s true….da….see I have done so much bloody coding but it din’t save my life…I went to gym but it din’t save my life…..i have completed my degree but it din’t save my life….i took a 30 by 40 site but it din’t save my life…..nothing is permanent da…….
Me : Doode …don’t worry da…still we are not dead…..
We drunk like hell and my friend's phone was ringing like anything….
My friend : doode …how many minutes left?
Me : still 19 minutes da….anyway we won't die suddenly ……it should compile and give short dump then only we can die
(at last he pick the call…..he was talking to someone .....but anger was floating in his face)
Me : Doode…what happened ….are you angry????
My friend : No…no…I am very happy….s**ks ….it is my cell(looking at his cell)….and I am paying the phone bill but most of the time people called me to contact you……shi*
Me : ha ha…..ok leave it…tell me know who called now….
My friend : urmila……….
Me : super……from heaven naaaa?
My firend : Customer care……she called me to inform you to pay the phone bill….
Me : Oh no……..see doode…what a artificial world…..they don't leave us even while we are dying….
(again he got a call…..and this time doctor has called him but he disconnected the phone…. Just after that he got one more call now he got angry and he gave me the phone to talk…as he thought that again customer care people are on the line….)
(I took the phone and ……..)
Me : Hello…(I said 'hello' as if I am the owner of the ozone layer)
Other side : sir….good evening….this is Chamapakali calling from 'Jingilala insurance company' …sir …(I stoped her…)
Me : what ????
My friend : who is calling machiii….????
Me : wait ra......????(I replied to my friend by covering the phone)
Other side : sir…we have a amazing plan…..sir…just pay 2000 rupees now and you will get 20 lacks after you die …..its a super dying offer sir…(again I stopeed her)
(I called my friend by covering the phone……)
Me : doode….listen …..how much you have now….because if we pay pay 2000 now then we will get 20 lacks after our death…20 + 20 lacks… we can open a small scale industry at the border of hell and heaven…..what do you say….
(my friend slapped me…..woo…what a reply)
Other side : sir…sir…..
Me: Ya….Can you come here…
Other side : where sir????
Me : bar….
Other side : bar?????
Me : I told my friend about you offer and he slapped me can you come here and slap me again to the other side because it was my fault that I picked your call while I am dieing …(suddenly phone is disconnected from other side…..)
My friend : machiii…its time to write parting note………..
Me : ya….da…..comeon start…
My friend : 'to all beautiful cigarettes and romantic beers….it was great to spend time with you people….thanks for your kind support…..(I started to continue…
Me : …..'even thanks to all banks and all debit card and credit card which made us to drink all the time….'
My friend : oh no………..shit….
Me : what happened ……?
My friend : I am married ra…..
Me : what a coincidence even I am married ra…..
(Actually me and my friends are married …..but we forget to inform our wives that we are dying….)
My friend : we need to call them and tell them that we are dying…
Me : no use da…..they will scold us….as they know that we are drunker and they think that we are lying or joking....….
My friend : but……………
Me : ……..but we have 9 minutes to die….doode….
My friend : What happened
Me : I think I am dying….
My friend : what happened…????
Me : my heart beat is becoming slow…..my eyes are closing……
(suddenly my friend started to cry and as if I am dead…..)
My friend : nooooooooooo………….machiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii………….i lost one irriting insect………machiiiiiiiiiii
Me : doode………..
My friend : oh…still you are not dead………????? Simply I have shouted ….rollback rollback…..(he is trying to recall his words…) rollback ….rollback…..
(at last bill came………..but 60 minutes are over………..we don't have money to pay……………….)
Bar man : sir…your bill…
My friend : but we din't ask for it…..
Bar man : but my manager wants you to take this bill…
Me: ok…give…we will take this ……..
(With an innocent face …… I took the bill and kept inside my empty valet and took my friend and started to move out of the bar…suddenly two things happened one is my friend got a call from his wife ….and second one is ...?????)
My friend : hello dear .....……this is your husband…(drinking effect...)
His wife : shut up….
My friend : (my friend closed his mouth)
His wife : (after few minutes) why the hell you are not talking…??? (see that's why wives are wives….she asked him to shut up….and again she is questioning…???)
My friend : ya tell me…
His wife : why ????.....you don't have money to pay the bill????
My friend : who told you darling…I am working…i am inside the office.......today we have a release…..
His wife : Shut up (again silent …….)
My friend : (also silent) (but not the phone bill….)
(small history for this…..actually me and my friend use to drink and smoke before the marriage but we left after our marriage but because of some unavoidable circumstances we started again after 6 months of the marriage…..and our beautiful wives come to know about this…and they made very big plan of 'MISSION : death within 60 minutes'…..they consulted a doctor(where we use to go for annual health check up) and asked them to give a wrong report …by this they want to avoid us to not drink atleast for a day ......well….noramally we use to reach our stop at 8.15pm (night) and we use to drink for an hour from 8.20pm to 9.20pm……and one fine day we caught…and they planeed above mission...and they started to follow us till the bar and they waited near the bar with lots of hope that we don't drink atleast for that day……but it din't worked out…..instead of that it damaged more…..normally we use to drink 30ml but that day we drunk 3000ml….(so the damage occurred 10times)…that's why 'NEVER EVER GO WITH AN NEGATIVE APROACH WITH ANYONE'....either to make some one to work or for make some one to leave some habbit...or make some one to achieve something....'BE POSITIVE AND GO WITH A POSSITIVE ATTITUDE AND APPROCH'....….'JUST A SPOON OF LOVE CAN STOP BARREL OF BEERS' )

(after that they realized their mistake and we realized their mistakes and also our mistakes and now a days we are going to 'YOGASANA' form 8.20pm to 9.20 pm………………………..wait………wait……….ok leave it!!!!)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!