I am NOT a DriveR !!!!!!!!!

“Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh….oops” I shouted as my senior driver slapped me. All other drivers are staring at me. I don’t know How to reply and What to responde..........

We are at the center of the circle..............Too much of horn sound everywhere…............Angry people around me.............. I started to pray our village god to save from this….

********Flashback***************************************************************

I am a young but not dynamic half educated idiot from a unidentified remote village. One fine day one of my uneducated friend told me about vacancy for government bus driver position as I has heavy vehicle driving license with me(used to drive bull-dozer in my village). As I was useless creature of my village thought of applying for the job

Unfortunately I cleared the interview process and got the government driver job for city transport service.

I am nearly 27 years old……..and wasted 15 years in dreaming ….Never fell in love…Never committed for anything…never did any good thing…never did bad stuffs also….neither interesting not boring …..Never studied well…..never respected anyone……Just dreaming …dreaming ….
Lived in this earth without any intention suddenly a governement transport service recruited me….

First day, I went to city transport head office and saw 15 other drives who are recruited in the same batch. We had a boss who was called by his staff as ‘Senior Driver’. He is the one and only responsible person to teach the LIVE driving classes in the city .

Everyone in my batch are silent and lost in their own world. No one was talking. No one was listening. ……

I was curious to know about the happening and I disturbed the silence of one of the new joiner.

Me: What happened? Why no one is talking?

New Joinee : Who are you?

Me : This is my first day . I am also a new joinee

New joinee: Oh ok….

Me: still you didn’t answer my question

New Joinee : what was your question? Can you repeat it?

Me: What is happening here? Why people are very silent ?

New Joinee: Nothing happening, that is the reason we are all waiting silently

Me: I didn’t get you

New Joinee : We are all supposed go for learning bus driving in the city but we are not able to do so as we are not able to trace the learners bus Which was stolen.

Me: Ha Ha Ha Ha

New joinee: why you are laughing?

Me: bus is not a match box to loose it in the bus stand

New joinee: but it happened here

Me: What?

New Joinee: Yes….Someone has stolen the bus

Me: what? Comeback (with all surprise in the world)…

New joinee : Yes…. yesterday night one old guy had a fight with one of the driver and driver scolded him badly. And the angry old man came night to the bus stand to take revenge on whole bus transport service by stealing the bus

Me: Oh….in our villages max we use to steal mangos. My god here they steal bus also …

New joinee: Not only bus sometime they steal bus driver also…..you know we are into one of the very risky job

Me : Is it…?

New joinee: Ya…yes…………..!!!!!!!!!!!

Again he maintained the silence and also me. As our senior driver was announcing something.

Our senior driver came out and started the announcement “Hello guys…you are all welcome to this driving world. We should have started todays training half an hour before bus as you all know the bus was stolen from the bus stand. Just now we got a news that our bus was found near Tumkur and it is on the way but we are failed to catch the thief. But theif has left a message inside the bus saying ‘never scold a passenger’.

So today’s first lession for you all is ‘never leave the bus key inside the bus specially when you scold a passenger. Anyway welcome to this wonder land and Bus will be back within a hour. So guys have a break and come after one hour”

I and all other went to canteen happily to eat something

After one hour……………..

Our learning bus came with a big ‘L’ in the front and back of the bus. Our senior driver entered the bus as a king and we all followed him as a scared prisoners.

Our senior chap started to explain about bus engine, steering, brake, gear, emergency exit, first aid, signals etc etc. and then he shouted by looking at us “any questions”

As I was curious to see 2 steering in a bus, without waiting I asked “in our villages we normally have one steering but why do we need 2 steering here”

My senior driver said “Even in our city, we have only one steering but this bus is meant for learning purpose and that is the reason we have 2 steering. One will be used by me and other will be used by you people and I will have control over you people so that you should not fall into gutter”

Remaining new joinees are started to give crocodile smiles at me as if I am a foolish village guy (infact I am..)

And then started his actual training. He sat in one of the driving seat and started to call one of us(one by one). Unfortunately he called me as the first person to drive(might be because of my unusual and foolish question).

I started the bus (remember all we guys know driving and has valid driving license but before starting live in the city, we need to go for a test run inside the city ).

Bus started to move with my driving and after 300 meters there was a signal and I was supposed to take U turn. The time I was trying to take U turn, signal shifted to yellow and then red(as per law I should stop the bus then and there only). I stopped the bus in an unusual way. As I was trying to take u turn and stopped the bus in between and parked the bus horizontally and it blocked the whole traffic behind. My seinor driver got angry as i parked the bus horizantally and it blocked the whole traffic.

***********************flashback is over*********************************************

“Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh….oops” I shouted as my senior driver slapped me. His slap force is so much that my hand hits the bus key which inturn fell into the gutter situated next to the road.

Om my god………….Bus key is lost. I was shocked …………………All other drivers are staring at me. I don’t know what to do next. Too much of horn sound everywhere as I blocked the whole traffic…. I started to pray our village god to save from this….

As my seniour driver came to know that key has fallen into gutter and again he slapped me ( I never had a single slap in my life)and he asked me to find the key in the gutter. Too much of pressure on me as I need to find a key from the shit(gutter). I got down and started to find the key as a puzzle inside the gutter .

After 10 minutes, I was able to find the key which was floating on the cow shit. I was so happy inside the gutter and walked out from the gutter as if i am walking on the red carpet after receiving the Oscars and entered the bus as a king and started stare at everyone once (excluding my boss). As I was blocked the whole traffic, I rush to the driver seat and tried to start the bus.

But not able to start the bus ????

Engine is not starting…why?

Infact key is not going inside…..why??

“Oh shit it is a cycle key….I found the wrong one in the gutter”

Too much of noise pollution everywhere because of me and I was trying to start the bus with a cycle key.

Behind me frustrated my new collegues and infront of me very angry senior driver who came near to me for his 3rd slapping quata….

His hand are very long and are very close to my cheek………very close

…………………..but I never had 3 slaps in a single day………………I jumped from the bus and started to run from there………towards highway………………..towards my my village……………………..!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LIKE A forrest gump .....!!!!!!!!!!!!!